I suck as a stay at home working mom!

Ok, I don’t suck as a SAHM just a WORKING one. It’s been almost nine months since my daughter was born and about six months since I decided to hunt for SAH jobs. I can’t lie, I found a bit but they weren’t for me. I mean a costumer service rep with a noise free background is a no go for any mom with young kids. I tried transcribing jobs, failed one test and the other one I looked into didn’t seem legit. I even starting designing T-shirts but being that I don’t have the money to advertise to a big audience my T-shirts are useless.

It’s been such a frustrating journey. I feel hopeless most days. I desperately want a home job so I can be with my girls. There’s so many weirdos out there and I trust NO one with my babies. I don’t want to have no income for myself or be in a struggle if their father took any kind of pay cut. *Pulls hair*

What is a mama to do? I’ve done research and googled the life out of this topic. It’s almost easier to work at home with no kids but I have kids, that why I want to work from home. It’s like a loop.

I’ve recently joined two freelance websites in hopes of getting some side cash. So far…FAIL! Like my goodness, I’m one step away from selling a kidney at this point. Not only are you going against other, possibly more experienced, freelancers you only have a certain amount of times per month that you can apply to jobs for free. It’s not like one job might cost one point, you can spend 2-10 points to apply to one job. Doesn’t seem bad? Well, when you only have 50-60 points it adds up. I partly gave up on those sites.

I would love to start my own business but my gosh that takes MONEY that I don’t have , which is why I need money. *Ugly cry* Lol, poor me! I never thought this would be so hard. I started this with wide eyes now my eyes are wide for a different reason aka I’m shocked that i made just about no progress.

I have no doubt that I’ll get to work at home in the future but I fear that I’ll just be forced to go back to the regular shift jobs until then. I don’t have to work but it does something to my womanhood not having my own money, plus as a mom there’s ton of things I want to get for my girls without having to ask someone else to get it.

I hope I can find something quick. Geez, Christmas is right around the corner. *Ugly cry again* I’ll still continue my search to find legitimate SAH jobs ni matter how long it takes to find the right one. How will the following months change for me? I have no idea. All I know is that I suck as a stay at home working mom!