The last few weeks have been rough for me. I lost a family member, had a not so great conversation with my mother, and I’m preparing to move to a new place. It’s easy to say I needed some laugher in my life.
I’ve recently started making YouTube videos just as an extra hobby while my girls nap. Usually if I try to record while they’re awake, they swarm all over me. This time I decided to envolve them in the madness by having them do my makeup!
Guy, RIGHT AWAY they tried eating the foundation! They put the brushes in they’re mouth, and the ran around with all the makeup supplies. It took so long to whine them down just to do the video.
Once they started to put on the foundation on my face, I thought I would lose an eye because they were so rough. It might not look like it but they were hitting the brushes super hard on my face. The kept placing product in the same spot so it was hilarious to see them go to work on just my cheeks–maybe they weren’t tall enough to do my forehead…who knows.
One of my daughters dropped the eyeshadow palette and it broke and was all over my leg and the floor. I edit that out lol. They started to put foundation on their face, which made my have a heart attack. Their skin is way too good for it. The decided that foundation on their face wasn’t good enough so they put it all over their hands and feet as well as the eyeshadow. I got a glimpse of them both eating the lipsticks before what they were doing registered in my head.
It was fun. They floor was a mess but it was all worth the laugh. I honestly didn’t expect to look like I was trying to camouflage in the jungle but hey, what do one year olds know about that stuff anyway? I don’t even know that much about makeup.
If you want a laugh give your gives a random task like I did and see what happens! Like always ((Hugs and love)).
via Daily Prompt: Pattern This prompt couldn’t have come at a better time. Why? Because I’ve lived a life of repeating the same nonsense over and over, and I declared yesterday that I was done with it!
What I’m referring to is the magical word “LOVE.” In relationships, I’ve managed to end up with the same bloody guys just with a different name and face. In my defense, they didn’t seem like douches at first. Regardless, somehow I created a pattern of finding men that were complete jerks.
I am nowhere near petfect but I’ve been faithful in every relationship and committed. I can’t say the same for my ex boyfriends. I came to the conclusion that it just had to be a problem with me…right?
Picking these guys wasn’t the end of the pattern I made. No sir! I made a habit of giving a million chances to each one even though they cheated, humilated, and disrespected me. Oh you’ve only played me 99 times, this time I’m sure you’ll change. Honestly, I think that was I thought.
I took crappy boyfriends back constantly throughout the years. I hated the idea of starting over. It was easier to stay with jerk-of-the-year than risk moving on and possibly finding a new jerk when I could’ve just stayed with the jerk I already had. Great logic, I know!
Needless to say I ened up with new jerks everytime. Sadly, as high of stardards I had, I would lower them in order to not lose these men that were as bad for me as Halloween candy is for a person with diabetes. They were literally killing me off emotionally and still I couldn’t get out of that hamster wheel.
Like I’ve said in other post, becoming a mom changed a lot. That includes the crap that I won’t put up with. Yesterday I sat, cried, and thought “I can’t keep doing this.” The pattern that I was so comfortable with had shown up in my thoughts and caused a wide range of emotions. It’s heartbreaking because if I veiw this as if it was someone else, I’d feel bad for that person. I’d want to hug them and tell them they needed to STOP putting themselves in such situations. I couldn’t tell you why when I put back on my own shoes I was suddenly not that confident.
It’s a process. You must know your worth, love yourself, and stick to your standards or you won’t end the cycle. I ended the pattern but I always had a fear that whenever I was ready to enter another relationship, it would be the same thing. After being in such deep thought yesterday I know I won’t end up repeating history again. Not ever!
Let me know what patterns you’ve created, good or bad. How has it affected your life?
So, I was scrolling through pictures on my phone and came across one where I had a full face of makeup on. Now, normally I don’t wear makeup, as I’ve stopped wearing it for sometime. I never had my entire face done, just eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipgloss/lipstick. The particular photo I’m talking about was taken after I made a video showing my lack of knowledge when it came to doing makeup. I know NOTHING. I just played around with makeup my sister had. She gave me some because she got a lot of free makeup at one point.
Okay, above is my attempt at doing a full face for the first time. I had fun, that’s all I have to say. Lol. Now, to the point. I looked at this picture and saw my obvious nose contour. I don’t care for contouring; I simply did it because that’s what I see in tutorials. I personally think it’s a way of creating insecurities. As you can see my nose is large and in charge and I’m quite happy with it.
Coming to that realization that I’m okay with a large nose made me think of a time when I wasn’t. If you’ve read any of my previous post, you might have come across Having a baby changed how I look at my body. I talked about not feeling good about how skinny I looked. With both my body and the size of my nose, it was people’s opinions of me that caused these insecurities. I thought I was fine, perfect even, until people started pointing out what they deemed to be wrong with my appearance.
I am black but my father is from Puerto Rico and in his bloodline is Taino Indian, European looking hispanics( my grandfather and his family) and black hispanics. My mother is a black woman and I have black features. I have a large nose like many black people do. When I was in elementary school it was rough because my father looked like a dark Caribbean Indian and I looked black. That alone is a topic unto itself. When I got to junior high, kids were telling me how big my nose was. I found myself looking in the mirror wishing it was smaller. I even began pinching my nose and the bone everyday trying to make it smaller.
This kind of resentfulness of myself and even my mother, who also has a large nose, was brought on by the constant bashing I was receiving. There was a boy in junior high who would squeeze my nose and go “bomp bomp” as if to mimic a boat horn. His friend joined in on the fun and starting doing it too. They did it infont of the whole class and I would dread going to last period because of it. I found out later that the guy had a crush on me. Oh what a way to show it!
Even when noone was saying anything about my nose, I was still judging myself. This was all around the time of developing physically and having crushes and trying to figure myself out. I had a big nose and it was terrible. Noone was ever going to like me. I was pretty for a girl with a large nose. Those were my thoughts.
I can’t tell you when I came to accept my nose. I just know as I contoured it, I felt uncomfortable…like a fraud. I had no problem with my nose and essentially hiding it felt wrong. I have nothing against makeup but I feel it’s a cover and it can prevent us from liking what we look like without it. Having small nose, wide eyes, and cheeks that look like you’ve been starving is considered “Beautiful.” I have a hard time with that. Being someone who worked hard to love themselves, I can’t accept society’s example of pretty.
It’s hard to love yourself sometimes, isn’t it? With social media and whats on tv, you might feel like you’re not good enough. For goodness sake, I’ve seen 11 year-olds doing makeup tutorials. Like self image wasn’t hard enough to deal with in my youth, now it’s a whole different ball game.
I have two girls that I need to make sure love themselves despite what the world or cruel classmates say. I have to make sure that they love themselves and won’t be the kids teasing other children because they feel like crap. I stress out just thinking about and not because I think they won’t love themselves but because I don’t know what craziness will be “In” a couple years from now. Both of my girls are only one but I make sure I let them know they are beautiful and the older of the two girls(22 months or I like to say ONE lol) goes around telling everyone they’re “Pree-T”. I think I’m off to a good start.
I can look at myself now and think I am GORGEOUS! Not for a skinny girl or for a black girl or for a girl with a big nose. I feel damn good about myself because I am beautiful with no strings attatched. I don’t compare myself to anyone because I am good enough. My nose is cute and hiding it is not an option.
I talk about self image a lot because it was a struggle for many years to really love all of me. You’d be surpriesd that even people you think look amazing, also have insecurities. That’s why it’s so impartant not to think someone else is perfect and you are less-than. Love yourself!!!
Tell me what were your insecurites and how you overcame them or how you’re dealing with them. Better yet, also let me know what you love about yourself as a whole!